Doing this only because I am too busy playing Guitar Hero to write anything else

How did you like the Hummer?

Dopthat timestwelve

But I do know that she is a playa hata.

These french fries are delicious. Can I stowaway in your luggage and go away with you? <- try that.

Damn. My blue t-shirt is in the washer. Would he believe that you keep a hot pink shirt in your trunk for emergencies? If so, I may have a plan.

I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday.

It's okay. I've almost stopped bleeding.

Is Gerald Ford alive?

Help! This dude is freaky naughty.

Look at rue mcclanahan from the golden girls.

What is the female version of a wizard?

Just stay indoors at all times. You do have your indoor shades, right?

You are hot...inside and out.

With some lotion and a "Boy's Gone Wild" dvd?

Take a doo-doo pie. I merely tolerate you.

I think I just saw you on tv.

Knitting, watching "America's Next Top Model" and burping up a turkey sandwich.

Do you want to see Harry Potter's penis?

And yes, I am a knight of the round table.

Please stop playing dueling banjos on the electric guitar as I am trying to get my hot ass off to bed.

Sweet dreames (that's how he said it!).

I knew you would enjoy that. I was sitting here bored while taking a dump, so I thought I would say hi. Hi!

And my all-time most favorite text message in the history of the world:
How can I invite Barry Gibb to church?