Don't you wish you were creative (and possibly insane) like us?

Here is one character from the show that Dustin and I are creating:

-a Jewish, pregnant, Mexican, lesbian bear accountant who wears a green visor and a gold chain, is anxiously awaiting her big break in showbiz (I may have made that part up, but she seems like the type who would) and has baggies of drugs in her rectum.*

Don't worry, this is just a rough sketch of this character. I'm sure she'll also have posters of K-Fed up in her room or something equally crazy.

Dear you stupid son-of-a-bitch deer,

Why? Why couldn't you have just stayed on the side of the road for 20 more seconds? If that's too much to ask, why couldn't you have stayed there at least 10 more seconds? Why did you have to cross the road in front of us? Why did you have to stop? Right there in the middle of the road with the truck barreling towards you at 55 mph. I haven't had a chance to Google it, but I'm sure there is some reason why deer seem to be attracted by fast-moving giant metal objects with bright lights. I just want to know that reason. If for some reason, maybe the fact that you are probably dead, you can't tell me why, then just stay away from civilization. If you agree to stay in the woods and off the highway, then I'll agree to stay out of the woods and on the highway (at least until the spring when we go camping, but even then I agree to not bring a gun or feed you Swedish fish). Agreed?

Former wildlife lover but now merely only a liker,
Emily


P.S. You ruined our night, but I'm guessing by the amount of your fur still stuck in the grill of the truck, that we fucked your night up a little bit more. Sorry. Well, not really.

Lessons learned on Saturday night:

*I love whiskey, but it doesn't love me back.

*McDonald's french fries take more than two hours to fully digest.

*A-Dogg is not a good rap name to give out when you are handing out kick-ass rap names. He won't appreciate it.

*It's hard to comprehend that fact when you are drunk.

*Big Cash Time Money Style Living is hard to say every time you try to tell people the philosophy by which you live your life all day every day, biatch.

*I would be royally fucked without friends like Dustin and Megan.

*Nate-Dogg knows how to throw one hell of a party...it's too bad he'll never let me come back over.

*Her name is Bethany. Not "my friend, whiskey."


FYI: NaBloPoMo begins tomorrow. Come back. Every day. I'll be here.

Note to self:

If you vomit in someone's living room and are then covered in said vomit, everyone else at the party will not believe you when you tell them that someone vomited, but no, it wasn't you and you don't know who it was.