Sunday, November 05, 2006

Dear you stupid son-of-a-bitch deer,

Why? Why couldn't you have just stayed on the side of the road for 20 more seconds? If that's too much to ask, why couldn't you have stayed there at least 10 more seconds? Why did you have to cross the road in front of us? Why did you have to stop? Right there in the middle of the road with the truck barreling towards you at 55 mph. I haven't had a chance to Google it, but I'm sure there is some reason why deer seem to be attracted by fast-moving giant metal objects with bright lights. I just want to know that reason. If for some reason, maybe the fact that you are probably dead, you can't tell me why, then just stay away from civilization. If you agree to stay in the woods and off the highway, then I'll agree to stay out of the woods and on the highway (at least until the spring when we go camping, but even then I agree to not bring a gun or feed you Swedish fish). Agreed?

Former wildlife lover but now merely only a liker,

P.S. You ruined our night, but I'm guessing by the amount of your fur still stuck in the grill of the truck, that we fucked your night up a little bit more. Sorry. Well, not really.


Maria P. said...

omg, I'm glad you are ok. Damn deer.

Anonymous said...

Doh! Good to hear you are ok.... it's a bad night to be a deer i guess.