Monday, April 23, 2007

So if I can read this, did his bitch really fall off or did he never have a bitch to begin with?

A couple of weeks ago, I was riding around town and I got stopped at a red light behind a van. The back of the van was covered with bumper stickers, but I was only able to read one. And that one has bugged the shit out of me ever since. The bumper sticker said "ABORTION CAUSES BREAST CANCER."

I read it. Then I read it out loud. Then I read it again because in my head I knew that there was no way that was true. But I also couldn't understand why a bumper sticker would lie. So I sat there for a few minutes trying to reassure myself that no, there was no way that bumper sticker could be correct.

I called my mom so that I could make sure that she agreed that there was no way that abortion causes breast cancer. We talked about it, each trying to reassure the other that no, there is no way that bumper sticker could be correct.

Why would someone put that on a bumper sticker? I had no idea that it was possible for a bumper sticker to contain a non-truth. I thought that there must be some kind of law that demands pure truth and honesty when it comes to bumper stickers. Apparently, I was wrong. I now don't know which bumper stickers to trust anymore.

I guess it's time for me to acknowledge that the people in front of me may or may not have an honor student at Lakewood Elementary and that the people beside me may or may not have a student capable of beating up the other people's supposed honor student.

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