My worst fear has finally come true...my hot body wasn't mentioned even once.

On Sunday night, I went to a Halloween party held at work. That's right, a Halloween work party. I don't mind telling you that we were rockin' hard...all night long. Although it came as a shock to me, I actually had a good time talking to everyone about something other than work. Like Ryan and his cute baby that I like to put into things, like baskets, vases and glass hurricanes. Like Joey and how in the not so distant past, his days were spent as a mild-mannered employee of the month but his nights were spent as Lance Goodthrust. Yes, that was his stripping name. While I have known about his past as a male stripper for quite some time and have seen his sweet stripping moves, it was last night that I first learned that there was another stripper by the name of Dr. Thunder. Great, now I have to stop being cheap and actually buy real Dr. Pepper because there is no way I can drink the Wal-Mart brand without the shit coming out of my nose. Like Nathan and the fact that after the party, he was headed to Nashville to compete in a "Pimps and Hos"contest at a bar. And he already had his costume on when he came to the party. There are just some things that are better left to the imagination.

Because it's not a real party unless there are games and door prizes, we quit our yammering and got down to some serious game playing. And it was all fun and games until I got my feelings hurt.

We started by sitting in a circle and arousing each other's auras and shitting on each other's chakras, or whatever the correct terminology is. As you can probably tell, I'm not down with all of the New Age crap. One of our "activities" (and I feel comfortable using that word because nowhere in the definition does it say that they have to be fun) was to write down something nice about the name we were given. The name that I was given was Ryan, so I got lucky. He's great and sweet and has the cutest baby that you put into things like baskets...I think we have already covered this, so I'll end it by saying I did not have a hard time filling out my sheet. After we were all done writing down our comments, we decided to read them and see what someone else had written about us. Chris, whom I love even though his sister is a dirty whore (just kidding, Layne, I love you, but only because your boyfriend's band kicks ass), drew my name. In my head, I'm thinking "This is great. He likes me and we have a lot of fun together. He'll have tons of nice stuff to say about me. And Ryan's baby is so cute, I bet he would fit in the salsa bowl..." Anyways, you get my train of thought here. Here is where we will begin the drumroll, please. Chris wrote:

"Emily is funny. She makes laugh. And I've also been known to giggle."

Yep, I'm the funny fat girl. Greeeeeeat.