There have been many theories thrown out to explain my absence from blogging including:
1. That I have found a new religion and am currently living as a nun in Rochester, New York.
2. That I am in Florida training alligators to attack any human they encounter, which would explain why I am now known as Two-fingered Emily, not to be confused with One-toe Willy.
3. That I am holed up in Billings, Montana with a hunky firefighter known around town as Johnnycakes.
4. That I am at a top secret medical facility receiving treatment for my late-onset Tay Sachs disease.
And while all of these theories sound like a really good time, the real reason that I have not updated in a long while is work, work and more work.