I wish I had a turtle so that I could help this guy out: My turtle needs a booty call
This guy obviously has low self esteem. Any normal person can fake a cold, you just have to have a little faith in your self: Will pay to catch your cold
OMG OMG OMG! 10,000 crickets. On the subway: Lost: big box of crickets on the subway
Here is a benefit of living with a virgin, no anal beads in the dishwasher: Keep your goddamn anal beads out of the dishwasher
Sucks for this kid because in the right light, RuPaul could pass for cute and 17-19: Take my son to his prom
For God's sake, someone come pick up this piano: Free upright piano
Possibly my favorite 'missed connection' ad of all time: To the girl who threatened to skull fuck me last night
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