I'm back from my vacation in Florida. But since I am still unpacking, I don't have time to write about my trip yet. But I can leave you with something. I don't know if you have ever heard of freecycle.org, but if you haven't, you are missing out. This is a community site where you get other people's shit that they don't want any more. Like a santa suit. For FREE. It doesn't get any better than that. It's kind of like a yard sale, but without the yard. And the sale. Anyways, it's awesome because it's so easy to get free crap. Other freecyclers post a list of stuff they have that they want to get rid of and then all you have to do is send them an email and tell them that you are willing to take their crap. And then you go get it. And then you have someone else's crap. For FREE.

While the possibility of getting other people's shit for free may sound like it's the best part of Freecycle, it's not. The best part is the emails that the people send out with their list of crap. I don't know if it's because I live in the South, and God, I hope it's not. And God, I really don't think it is, but there are some dumb people out there. And weird, pervy-type people. That aren't ashamed to let you in on their dumbness. Or their weird, pervyness. Here are some of the real gems that I have received in my inbox over the last few months (I have left in all misspellings and grammatical errors because that is fun. And I am a bitch):

*Wanted: a mattress and box springs - Sent from gstringmom@emailprovider.com

*Wanted: a Porta-crib or a playpen to use for a baby goat - condition doesn't have to be the best - but with no structural problems!

*Wanted: a small female dog. prefer a young preety girl. I want to dress her up and take lots of pictures. Need the little girl I never had. Also prefer one with med. length to long hair, not short.

*Offer: ChilDesign White Baby Bed. Needs picked up ASPS.