Go outside and get something of your car then go back inside your house and shut the door. Then, when I come running up to your front door to use your phone because I'm a jackass and somehow locked myself out of my house, refuse to open the door.
And then, after I have to go to three other houses in order to finally find a phone to use because one of them isn't home, then the other doesn't have long distance or a cell phone (which, btw, who doesn't have a cell phone!?!?!), walk your FAT ASS out of your house to walk your dog. Because I guess I'm supposed to believe that you were gone in the five minutes that I was looking for someone to help me. Even though your car was in the driveway the entire time. I hate you. K. Bye.
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