Everyone's a comedian

Don't worry, K-Fed. I only laughed a little.

Possible new track for my duet album with K-Fed

I wrote this song with my nephew, Gavin. If it had just been me writing it, the song would be called "Dear Falcon."

Update:
I've had a few people say that K-Fed would be scared if he heard this song. Dustin believes that he would call the cops and have me arrested. I want to clear up this misunderstanding, this song is not about K-Fed. My sister is pregnant with her first child and I want to name him (or her) Falcon, while Gavin wants to name him Kevin. It has nothing to do with K-Fed except for the possibility that it might end up on our duet album.

Don't you wish you were creative (and possibly insane) like us?

Here is one character from the show that Dustin and I are creating:

-a Jewish, pregnant, Mexican, lesbian bear accountant who wears a green visor and a gold chain, is anxiously awaiting her big break in showbiz (I may have made that part up, but she seems like the type who would) and has baggies of drugs in her rectum.*

Don't worry, this is just a rough sketch of this character. I'm sure she'll also have posters of K-Fed up in her room or something equally crazy.

When you wish upon a washed-up pop star

Top story on CNN.com this afternoon:

***It's over for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. The pop singer, known for hits such as "Oops ... I Did It Again" and "Toxic," is divorcing her husband of two years and one month. Spears and Federline, one of the singer's former backup dancers, married October 6, 2004, according to the divorce papers. Spears filed legal papers Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." She is asking for legal and physical custody of their two children, 1-year-old Sean Preston and 2-month-old Jayden James. Spears did agree in the filing to let Federline have visitation rights. The date of separation was listed as Monday. Spears also requested that her earnings and accumulations from after the date of separation, miscellaneous jewelry and personal effects and other undisclosed assets to be declared separate property. Spears' attorney, Laura Wasser, could not be reached for comment. Spears, 24, married Federline after a six-month courtship in 2004. In January 2004, she had married childhood friend Jason Alexander in Las Vegas, Nevada. That marriage was annulled after 55 hours. Federline, 28, previously had a relationship with actress Shar Jackson. The union produced two children, one of whom was born two months before he married Spears. Federline recently released a rap album, "Playing With Fire." The Spears-Federline marriage has been chronicled in detail in celebrity magazines since the pair tied the knot, with rumors of problems often surfacing.***

It's good to know that dreams really do come true.

When I first read the story, which, by the way, was the top story on CNN, how sad is that, my first thought was "Yes! Now he's all mine." My second thought was "Oh God, Britney Spears reads my blog and now I am a homewrecker."

Oh well. I can live with that and K-Fed in a shack with our 27 kids.

Reasons why I heart K-Fed and you should too*

I have received a couple of comments and several emails showing concern over the fact that I seem to have a bit of bizarre and inappropriate crush on Kevin Federline.

I pointed out a couple of reasons why I love K-Fed in my last post. I would know like to elaborate on those a little:

-He is one hell of a dancer. Even if you hate him, you have to give him that. That boy can move.
-He is also a semi-decent actor. I would have to say that his best work so far is the act that he has put on for the entire country. He is acting like a piece of white trailer trash and you are all falling for it. He was also pretty good on CSI.
-While I hate to admit this, I have heard several tracks from his new cd that came out. And it's...not that bad. I know that we would all love to say that it's awful just like we knew it would be, but give him a chance. Go listen to it and then if you can still say he sucks, then I will allow you to suck my balls.
-He's also hot.
-He's smart. Wait. Wait, hear me out. He doesn't have to do a damn thing except have sex with a pop star, smoke a cigarette and then go shopping. Is your life even close to being that awesome? I didn't think so.

These are just a few of the reasons why I think Kevin Federline is a little bit of awesome (I feel like I am writing a concluding paragraph to a second-grade essay). I'm sure I could think of a few more reasons, but there is good music to listen to and good beer to drink in Bowling Green and man, a girl's got her priorities.

Leave me a comment and let me know if I have caused to rethink your staunch anti K-Fed stance (and I'm sure that it's staunch because you can't just kinda like or kinda hate him. It's all or nothing, baby). Or not. Either way, let me know.



*The idea of this post came from Maggie Mason's book "No One Cares What You Had For Lunch." If you don't have this book and you are participating in NaBloPoMo, you might want to think about picking it up. It is filled with great ideas that can help you complete the challenge of posting something every day. This post comes from idea number 54, "Get Defensive." The point of this one is to show something that you love that no one else does and then tell why you love it and why the rest of us should even consider giving it a second chance. As she puts it, defend the indefensible.